Most male clients come in because they know they're "in trouble", but more often than not, they don't know what exactly is going on inside and how to get out of it, or how to solve this inner conflict.
In short, I learned through my executive coaching experience that men, just like women, are struggling to be themselves. However, what stroke me is this statistic, published in New York Times article, that states:
...as men continue to fall behind women in college while outpacing them four to one in the suicide rate, some colleges are waking up to the fact that men may need to be taught to think beyond their own stereotypes...
Talking about the difference between men and women, a colleague showed me a home video he had found online: a small boy getting his first vaccinations. The father says: “Boys don’t cry! You are a man!”. This illustrates one of these cliches, how boys are raised, sometimes with the best of intentions, to suppress their emotions, and how the ground is laid for being disconnect from their inner world.
A man disconnected from his inner world is usually not a pretty sight or very easy to live with. When my male client discover that there is such a thing as an inner world, they absolutely agree that their inner world contains far greater richness than anything they can find in the outer world.
Male acting like a man is nothing more and nothing less than having the courage to be true to himself. This is the hero's journey so often present in mythology, fairy tales, and movie screens. Rather than slaying dragons, aliens, or enemies, the real challenge for most men in today's society is to understand the truth of his essential nature and then to vanquish whatever fears would prevent him from acting in accordance with his true Core self.
“Who you are has a tremendous impact not only on how you impact others but also how you carry yourself in day-to-day situations and internal beliefs. In transformative coaching we call this your identity and it cascades its way down through beliefs, capabilities, behaviors, and your environment. You can imagine how much of an impact internal work has an influence on your world... and then everyone else's world!"
Dr. Connirae Andreas
Another issue that comes up is being overwhelmed and often stressed, and I would even go as far as to say it's an addiction to busyness. So many high performers are literally living on adrenaline. They are driven by this feeling that they get from adrenaline. And there's a real fear of what would happen if they slow down. It's a hard thing for them to do because there is this addiction to busyness and work, or maybe other unwanted habits.
However, when they do slow down, it opens up a space for clarity, new doors and new ideas, creativity, and everything else.
Very often issues such as keeping up appearances, ego-games, competitions, body image, sexuality, self-worth, intimacy, and the crippling sense of disappointment and failure...
However... approaching life the way they did is not what's going to get them to the next level. To move into the zone of true Core, it is required to shift from doing what you know to do, to doing what you are inspired to do. It requires the next level of experiencing and feeling - the new level of Core being.
Mentally and emotionally top performers seem to be more resilient, less vulnerable, and more likely to sustain performance over the long day-to-day grind that is the reality of professional life.
As a serial Entrepreneur and former Head of International Business Development, I am very familiar with daily stress, the pressure to perform, and the demands of everyday life. In situations where there appears to be a standoff, a high performer is much more capable of shouldering the burden. Therefore I have a great appreciation for their inner transformative journey.
Without the noise, they are then able to look in another direction, see a new perspective, and be open to insight. This insight, something even they haven't brought through before, might drop in during the coaching session. It may happen when walking down the street or it may drop in a week's time.
The most valuable thing for my client is for them to have the space to explore different directions, without any kind of judgment of other people on their teams or someone in their life thinking that they've gone crazy. It is really a place for them to explore, develop ideas and align with the energies with which they can go out in the world and create, expand and shift their model of reality to meet the expansiveness of their vision. Whether a person is in a top-performer space, wanting to start a new life chapter, or committed to doing life differently – it’s difficult to do it alone.
It is therefore especially important to me to guide this deeply transformative experience and gently rewire stress, transform fears, and remove any stumbling blocks on the path to life fulfillment.
CORE TRANSFORMATION COACHING WITH NELL
I’m devoted to inner, transformative work. As with any deep partnership, it is built on commitment, trust, vulnerability, and integrity. Transformative journey with me is not about business coaching, strategy, discipline, willpower, or positive thinking. My work is to activate true greatness in people, helping them quiet their mind-chatter, and while doing so, helping them access their true Core.
I work with purpose-driven people around the globe to help gain inner Clarity, flourish in a life's journey, and create a true impact in this world. It’s a natural, powerful inner process that connects us with our authentic self, with our inner wisdom, and propels us into true fulfillment.
If you are a change-maker and curious to explore Core Transformation® and see for yourself how this unfolds in your life, I am ready to support you to get into your true zone.
Everything starts with a conversation, so please feel free to book a 75-minute initial consultation with me here.
I look forward to getting to know you.
Founder of Core Clarity Academy and certified Core Transformation® Coach
“Do I need inner work transformative coaching?” is one of the questions I’ve been asked most. Well, my answer is always the same: Yes.
Yes, you need inner work transformative Coaching. And I don’t say this just because I am a Transformative Coach. I say this because inner work provides everyone with a deliberate place to grow. Everyone has a blueprint and we are meant to move forward and evolve. And so inner transformative work cultivates inner power, confidence, wisdom, resilience, and stability within, helping us expand to meaningful growth.
By aligning our actions and being with our true Core, we access our core wisdom and infuse our actions with true passion and purpose.
As such, strong and wise leaders become a force within organisations and society, expanding and adding to the well-being of people around them.
Josh Gressel Ph.D. Journal Psychology Today, Psychologytoday.com
Andrew Reine "Teaching Men to Be Emotionally Honest" nytimes.com
Broadway, I. “Moneyball for Mindfulness,” Bloomburg.com
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